Welcome to JOYFUL REFLECTIONS. Also welcome to MAY!!!! Spring is AWESOME. Enjoy some beautiful IRISES from our yard. Meet "Goodnight Kiss"

Friday, February 11, 2011

Let's Talk Fridays: Dealing with Negative People

I am beginning a new Friday blog post.  All of us have opinions and we all love to talk and express our thoughts.   SO---I invite you to visit me every Friday,  and I'll choose a different topic each week.   I'll give you some thoughts ---and then you can give yours!!!!  It should be loads of fun!!!!

This week the topic is "Dealing with Negative People".   We all have these people in our lives--whether it's through blogging or other ways.  I read that negative people are like human black holes,  who come out of nowhere and suck the life out of you.  You recognize them,  don't you?  There's the sob sister (whiner),  the blamer,  the drama queen, the victim,  the constant talker or joke teller,  and the fixer-upper (requires endless help)....What can you do about these people?

Judy Orloff,  in her book,  "Positive Energy", gives us some strategies on how to deal with negative people.  A few of her ideas are:
1. Just smile and remain completely detached;  Remember that they are seeking a response from you!
2. Say (right after you've heard their tragic story):  "Now tell me something positive."
3. Ask yourself what it says about YOU.  Negative people want to get a reaction from you. They 'push your buttons'... You can learn alot about yourself by dealing with your response to this person.  This person should have no power over you.
4. Does this person and their situations make you feel NEEDED?  A good test to see if this is happening is to notice how you feel after 'helping' someone.  You may be giving your energy to them ---and this doesn't help either party.
5. Remember that this is NOT your fault.  You cannot solve the problems of the world.

There are plenty more strategies,  but I'm sure you have some great thoughts also.  When I worked for the church for about 25 years,  I dealt with all kinds of people.   I was trying to help them ---and  not take their problems and situations home with me.  It wasn't easy --but I always kept a specific saying on my computer at work:  "Surround yourself with positive people".

Now---tell your stories of negative people in your life, and what you do/did/will do about them and that situation.

If you missed my yesterday's post,  you missed an important announcement. Don't forget to watch NBC tonight at 8:00 Eastern time (or 7:00 Central time) to see my hometown of Big Stone Gap, Virginia!!!  See yesterday's post for more details!!

Have a great weekend.  I'm taking a little blog break for Valentine's Day---so I will see you next Thursday,  Feb. 17.   Happy Valentine's Day to ALL.