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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween


I know you have probably heard all of these before, but I thought you might like something to make you smile today!!!!! Here's some Halloween one-liners for you!! Enjoy!


What do birds give out on Halloween night?
-Tweets


What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
-A trombone


What does a vampire NEVER order at a restaurant ?
-A stake sandwich


What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
-A bloodhound


What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
-A scareplane


Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
-They're so wrapped up in themselves


What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
-A cereal killer


What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
-A Shrinkenstein


What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
-Fangsgiving


What is a vampire's favorite sport?
-Casketball


Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
-Because they don't have any body to go out with


And finally, why do witches use brooms to fly on???????
-Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...


Have a wonderful Halloween...


Hugs,

47 comments:

Your EG Tour Guide said...

Hahaha! Thanks for the giggles. Happy Halloween!

Naturegirl said...

Betsy:
(((((Happy Halloween!))))

♥Kathy♥ said...

LOL those are cute. So are you giving out treats to the kiddies tonight?

SquirrelQueen said...

Oh Betsy, a few groans but lots of giggles, that was fun.

Happy Halloween,
Judy

Sunny said...

Nothing like a good giggle in the morning!
Happy Halloween to you too!
Sunny :)

Carol @ TheWritersPorch said...

Cute post Betsy! xoxo

debbie said...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN BETSY,
I DISCOVERED YOU ON A COMMENT YOU LEFT OVER AT BECCA'S DIRT. I AM AMY'S MOTHER...MY PRECIOUS 33 YEAR OLD ONLY DAUGHTER BEAT THE BUTT OF the cowardly disease called cancer. cancer can try to torment you and cause you unquenchable pain but IT WILL NEVER, EVER, steal YOUR SOUL..YOUR DIGNITY...YOUR LOVE FOR MANKIND....JUST NUMEROUS THINGS...MY DAUGHTER DID NOT WANT ME TO BE SAD....SHE WAS ALWAYS JOYFUL AND HUMMING A TUNE...THERE WAS NOONE THAT WANTED TO LIVE MORE THAN AMY AND NOONE THAT WAS MORE READY TO MEET JESUS IF THAT WAS HIS WILL. SHE WOULD LOVE ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PICTURES YOU HAVE TAKEN OF THE TREES.....WE BOTH LOVED TREES SO VERY MUCH.
I JOINED YOUR BLOG AND WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO JOIN MY BLOG. I LOVE...LOVE MAKING NEW FRIENDS....I HOPE TO BE THERE FOR YOU ONE DAY SHOULD YOU EVER NEED ME. I WANT TO BE GOD'S GENTLE HANDS EXTENDED.
KEEP TAKING THOSE BEAUTIFUL PICTURES.
I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF STAYING AT THE PEABODY HOTEL AT CHRISTMAS AND WATCHING THE DUCKS MARCH IN....THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH THAT OR NOT...I SAW IT ON A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL YEARS AGO.
ANGEL HUGS
Debbie

SmilingSally said...

I haven't seen these before. Thanks for the chuckle, Betsy.

Jayne said...

AND.... what do you call a hot dog with a hole through the middle of it?
....... A Holloweenie!!!

Happy Halloween Betsy!!

Dorothy said...

Betsy, these are new to me and the next to the last one is my favorite! Have a great day! ♥ ♥ ♥

Beth said...

Hee,hee...these are great, Betsy! I love these kind of jokes. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh.

So, why do ghosts like elevators so much?

Because they lift the spirits.

:-)

Tracey Hodge said...

Shared them with my girls and they cracked up (especially Cg who's all about the one liners!)

Happy Halloween!

NCmountainwoman said...

Thank goodness we're never too old to enjoy these jokes. Thanks for making me feel young again. Happy Halloween.

It's pouring rain with high winds here. Looks just like Halloween, but will put a big damper on the big celebration downtown.

√ Abraham Lincoln said...

Yep. This is Halloween. Your blog post is a reminder that trick or treat is tonight.

And, the bird nest boxes like they use to build nests in can be converted. Those I showed on My Birds Blog were converted. The hole was put near the bottom.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I love the funny 'puns'!!!
Happy Halloween.
Do you get trick or treaters????

Small City Scenes said...

Oh Betsy, those one liners get me every time.

The rain here all night long and this morning is torrential. I am afraid I am going to have to build an Ark. and I even live on a hill. The pond is full and the waterfall is splashing. That is one good thing. But I have 4 huge sycamore trees right by the northeast side of the house and those huge leaves are all over the place. I will just have to wait until they are all down because it looks like monsoon season is here. LOL

Take care and stay out of the rain. HA!!! MB

This Is My Blog - fishing guy said...

Betsy: I'm going to send these on to the grandkids.

Wendy said...

LOl! Those are cute. I've never heard of them before. Happy Halloween to you!!

Snap said...

Mr. Dragon calls these 6th grade jokes! Love them! Happy Halloween back!

Brenda Kay Ledford said...

Betsy,
Cute posting! Happy Halloween!
Yes, Sleepy Hollow Falls are located between Dillsboro and Franklin.

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

Betsy,I wish for you a day filled with beauty and love.
Blessings,Ruth

bookbabie said...

Love the illustration and the Halloween jokes! It's cold and very windy here, not the best weather for the kids to be out and about:(

Betty said...

I had my giggle for the day,Thank you. Have a Happy Halloween.
~~Hugs~~

Tes said...

That was timely, Betsy and yes, funny. Am definitely sharing this in the party tonight -hehe.

Happy Halloween to you and George! *hugs*

Thistlebrooms said...

Some of your 'One-Liners' surly bring back the memories!!!

Happy Halloween To You Both...

BeWaRe!!!
Always~Marilyn

Nance said...

Betsy, you are so right, these gave smile on my face! Hope you don't mind if I steal a few? ;)

Kelly said...

Hahaha! Happy Halloween to you too!!

Adrienne in Ohio said...

Happy Halloween to you too. Love the cute jokes!

Bird Girl said...

Have a great day, Betsy - funny!

Diane said...

Thanks for the snickers, Betsy, I really liked the mummy one and I'll agree about the vacuum sweepers.

Patty said...

What a fun way to end my day. Happy Halloween to you!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Hi Betsy

How about this one:

" Don't bother to invite the Invisable Man to your Halloween party -- Why? -- He won't show up!"

LOL

Happy Halloween!

Hugs, Pat

Queen of Dreamsz said...

Happy Halloween, Betsy.....

I love, love the *Shrinkenstein*...hehe..that is the best! :0)

Thanks for dropping by for a visit..
Scatter Bliss...
Stephanie

blushing rose said...

Love your autumn pics & no, some I hadn't heard, chuckle!

Have a BOO-tea-FuLl Halloween. TTFN ~Marydon

** Watch for huge giveaways that start tomorrow for several weeks.

Judy said...

I love the one about the cereal killer. lol. Happy Halloween, Betsy!

Ocean Girl said...

:)) Happy Halloween, Betsy.

Joy said...

hehe. I have not heard some of these. Love it.


Joy

Tina said...

Very cute post, Betsy!! I enjoyed all your funnies..do hope you have a nice evening..and that your vols win!!

Janie said...

Cute questions/answers. I smiled!
Hope you and George have a fun Halloween.

Marge said...

Great Jokes! Happy Halloween :)

Marge said...

Great Jokes! Happy Halloween :)

Jen said...

hee hee.
Here's one back to you.

??Why did the ghost starch her sheet?
She wanted everyone to be scared stiff.

Mary said...

LOL! Thanks for the jokes to brighten the day :-)

Cheryl said...

I love the new header photo, just beautiful. And the Halloween jokes were great!

Daisy said...

Very cute, Betsy. Happy Halloween to you! :D

Salitype said...

happy halloween!

oh! i loveeee the new header, betsy!in keeping with the season...lovely. lovely indeed!

there's nothing like a good hearty laugh in the morning!....ha!ha!ha!

GrandmaKathleen said...

Betsy,
Hi sorry I'm a few days late, I have not had the time to blog as much as I would like to. I did want you to know that I think your header is absolutely gorgeous and so seasonal. Your one liners did put a smile to my face. Really cute.
Say hello to your dear hubby for me and a belated Happy Halloween.