Monday, January 21, 2019

Life's Changes

Mark --in the Smoky Mountains
Dear Friends,  how are you today?  I know that most of you remember my sad news  in August of 2017.   Son Mark's  wife  died suddenly.   Mark and Debbie had been together for 2 years  --but had only been married for about 2 months when her Bi-Polar condition which she had battled for years,  WON the war!  

Her death was listed as a suicide --but Mark thinks that she had been doing so well the past couple of years that she decided to get off of her medications.  Of course,  neither Mark, nor Debbie's four daughters, nor her friends had any idea that she wasn't taking her meds....   In the end,  when Mark was out of the house,  Debbie took WAY too many meds and over-dosed....

There is so much most of us do not know about mental illness.   Mark learned a lot during their relationship --but he learned MUCH more after her death...   Nobody likes to take those powerful medications.  Even I HATE taking my A Fib meds because all medications have side effects...  I'd love to get off of those drugs --but I know that I CANNOT.  

Debbie and Mark had been so happy together.  Her daughters and friends have always said that she was the happiest with Mark than she had been her whole life.  All of us in the family loved her and her vivacious personality.  Mark thought that he had found a partner for life ---and then she was GONE.




WELL---this post is not about Debbie --but is about MARK,  and what has happened since that horrible day in August, 2017.   Mark grieved hard (VERY HARD) for several months --and I was SO worried about him.   BUT--he finally took a step toward living....

Even though he had a fabulous job in Texas,  Mark decided that he was ready to come 'home'---back to Tennessee.  That was a huge decision for him.  But--he knew that he needed family, and a new place with fewer memories.




SO--in APRIL 2018,  he and brother Bert moved to Maryville,  Tennessee.   Since then,  there have been a few hiccups --but overall,  he has done well.  His job in the Home Building industry  (where he had done so well in Texas) didn't work out.   BUT--he got his 'dream' job as General Manager of the Pour House (sports bar selling craft beer) in Knoxville.




Mark (and Bert) both love the Smoky Mountains.... SO---they spend every spare minute they can hiking in Smokies.   That THRILLS me so much since I also love the Smokies and have hiked to many of the same places in past --where they are hiking now.   I'm re-living that JOY through them.



Mark's picture showing one of their hiking trails in the Smokies



One of Mark's photos in Cades Cove in the Smokies




Photo taken in Cades Cove in the Smoky Mountains
To make the joy of hiking and riding in the mountains even better,  Mark bought a shiny little red Jeep!!!



Mark and brother Bert (who have so much in common) enjoy being together  when they hike,  go to games --or just enjoy a meal with us!!!!




Besides hiking in the Smokies,  Mark (and Bert) have enjoyed going to both the Tennessee Vols  Football and now the Basketball games.  By the way,  our Vols Basketball team is doing GREAT so far this year!!!!!!



"Pappa" Mark and Vivi

In January of 2018,  Mark's granddaughter,  Vivian Lee, was born.   That's another blessing --not just to Mark but also to all of us in the family.  




Diana and Mark
Between the new job,  the love of the Smoky Mountains, and being closer to family ---Mark has done really well... AND   2019  looks great so far also.  His best friend and Sweetheart from Texas,  Diana,  is moving to Tennessee in February to be with Mark.




a 2nd Granddaughter is coming!!!
Then in MAY of 2019,  Mark's daughter Brooke is expecting another little girl  (Veronica). How awesome is that!!!




Mark brought Diana to Tennessee in the Fall to see if she liked it...  She DID.
I am so happy for Mark and Diana,  and especially happy that I see the joy and SMILE back in Mark's face.  

YES---life can be hard for any of us.  BUT--when life does throw those tragedies in our face,  we either choose to sit around and let it consume us --or we find the strength to move on with our lives.   There is ALWAYS joy to be found if we keep the right attitude and be willing to search for that JOY.

I hope you enjoyed reading about Mark and what is going on in his life now.

Hugs,

36 comments:

  1. I did enjoy reading this post Betsy. Sad but also now happy for Mark

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is wonderful that things are going so well for Mark. 2018 was a very healing year for him and it sounds like it will continue on into this year.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am overjoyed that Nark has found a way to make life wonderful again. Not an easy thing to do. And I'm sure Debbie is happy that Mark found someone to share his life with. She has found peace now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. How old are Debbie's daughters? I hope they are all grown...not that it would make this better, just somehow less horrible.

    Glad Mark has found a place to be. God bless you all.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mark looks happy now. I prayed for him often and so thankful his friend has come into his life. What a neat red Jeep. Love the mountain scenery and waterfalls. You do a great job preparing this all for us to see. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hello,

    I am so happy for your son Mark. He deserves to be happy. Your new great-grand is adorable. Happy Monday, enjoy your day and new week ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mark has been through so much...it's so nice to see him smiling and happy again. Bravo!!!
    I'm just as excited about the new baby myself. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so glad Mark is in Tennessee, and that he is doing so well. I also know he'll be happy when Diana gets up here as well.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm glad to hear your son has found a way to enjoy life again. It isn't easy when unexpected tragedies throw you off course, but recovering from them is possible.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Praise God for His tender mercies and many blessings! Love and hugs to you from UT.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Betsy, Its good to see that Mark is doing so well and that he's found another life partner too! It has to be great to be so close to his brother as well. My brother and I were polar opposites and never had a really positive relationship. Take Care, Big Daddy Dave

    ReplyDelete
  12. Amen. That Mark has found healing with his family and friends, plus a dream job is a pure blessing. Hope it is all up for him now.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am sitting here thanking God that he has worked through Mark‘s life and has brought the joy back. I know that you love having him so close by. Thank you for sharing all of this with us Betsy. You know, Mark is blessed to have a mother that loves him so. Not all people are so fortunate and you my friend are one of the best. Blessings, Betsy

    ReplyDelete
  14. It is so wonderful to see Mark happy and smiling again. It is so true, we must make a decision when life gets rough, let it get us down, or keep looking up and move forward.I'm glad Mark has chosen to move forward with his life and I hope it brings him many more joys.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you for the update Betsy. I can tell by the post just how thrilled you are with the way Mark has dealt with the death of his beloved wife. I am sure having a loving family around him has helped enormously.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am so glad that Mark has a 'special someone" now! And is near to his brother; I think they must be very good for each other. Their pictures are beautiful! How far away from you do they live? Sports bars are HUGE here, with their enormous T.V. screens.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am so very very happy to hear about Mark and how he is finding new life and love!

    One of my friends went off her meds just before Christmas and has been missing since then. The police fear that she has drowned herself, but we won't know until the ice thaws... She has two teens and a younger boy, whom she would never leave if it hadn't been for her mental health problems. Thank you so much for putting a spotlight on how difficult it can be.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I can tell you're one happy and proud Mama. Enjoy it now that your "boys" are closer to home.

    ReplyDelete
  19. There is no good thing in suicide - but no one does it if they feel they have hope. We can't judge these people who do that I don't think.
    I think it was great that your boys moved home. With your health it was a good time to do it. Having the family there all together is a good thing. And the grand baby is ADORABLE! And he has a new love - so his heart is getting better. Seems all good after tragedy. Sandie

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm so happy for Mark...and for his mother, who I know could never be totally happy while her son was hurting.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thank you for the update about Mark. It's good to know that he has come through this time of loss and heartache. It's hard to see our children hurting and going through difficult times so I'm happy for you too. Thank you for sharing. God bless you and your family, Betsy.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Very happy to see Mark smiling and moving forward. And that is what matters the most😊.

    Family, friends and the community play important roles in helping people to be back on track when problems like this occur in life.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. God bless you all!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear Betsy, thank you for sharing Mark's story. I remember much of it from your 2017-18 posting but seeing the whole story--the arc of it--here really does show that out of tragedy and hurt can come good. There is, I believe, good in everything. We just need to wait and look and find it and, as you noted, we need to open ourselves to the possibility of that good and resist becoming bitter and self-absorbed.

    I am so happy for you and Mark and Bert that you are so close together now--in proximity and also within the new memories you are collecting. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I finally got over here to read this beautiful, love filled, happy, and yes, triumphant post! Betsy, I know the story, but I loved the way you retold it here. I’m so happy for Mark. So very happy.

    I was thinking of Debbie and something you said here about her and the medications. We just never know what goes through the mind of one when they have been sick with mental illness for so long. I know that dance of your loved one taking meds, not taking meds, not telling they aren’t taking meds, and then taking too many meds. It is such a common thing. My heart just breaks that Debbie most likely just wanted to feel better, was struggling with her illness again, and as someone said to me when I lost my dear Julie, “Things just got out of hand.” I do think that happens so much.

    My heart is happy for you all. Every single one of you. Much love to Mark and his new life and new love.

    ReplyDelete
  25. A lovely story of sadness and joy. I hope 2019 brings more joy and happiness to Mark and you,

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am so glad things are looking up for Mark! My dad was bipolar back when they didn't have effective meds. Eventually lithium entered the picture and he was able to come home from the mental hospital.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hello Betsy
    What a wonderful post, it is so nice to see Mark smiling and looking well in these photographs. He has been through so much, and he is coming through it so well. I hope his 2019 will be a good year.

    On another note I read your comment on the low carb diabetic blog that you and George are on a keto diet and are doing well, I'm so pleased for you.

    Enjoy your week.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
  28. This is a great post. I remember those difficult days for Mark and your family. I know that Mark had many prayers lifted up on his behalf. I can see that the change has been great for all of you. I'm so glad you have your guys back home, close to you. I am thrilled for Mark. What a wonderful Blessing for him. He looks happy and I know you are so very happy for him. These are great changes... hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  29. It is good to hear that things are looking better for Mark.

    I recognized Cades Cove even before I read the description. My daughter and I had such a good time on our visit to Tennessee a couple ears ago.

    ReplyDelete
  30. He's sure been through a lot but it's nice to read this update and know his life is headed in the right direction. We can all pray for him. I pray he will have many blessings ahead! Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thank you for sharing this story with us. i am so happy for Mark and I pray things continue to go well for him.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thanks for sharing this story with us. I am so happy for Mark and pray things continue to go well for him.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Betsy, Somehow I was meant to read this story today. I am happy for your Son and the rest of the family. Everyone deserves a happy life and with you as a parent, they have obviously been taught that as they grew up. I guess it's true, sometimes bad things happen to test us, but if we stay strong and have a good attitude, things always get better. Good luck to your son with a continued, happy future.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Thank you for sharing this story. I am so happy for Mark that he is back on his feet and finding happiness and love again.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting my blog... Your comments mean so much to me... I have had to put on 'comment moderation' (due to spam comments)... Sorry about that --but I do read your comments and LOVE them.