PERSEVERANCE

Some people consider 'perseverance' the cornerstone of SUCCESS.  To expect the roads we travel to be a 'cake walk'  is naive.  NONE of us is immune to the obstacles which life throws our way.  BUT---each of us does hold the power to choose what we do with whatever lands in our laps.  Like my blog last week on "Forgiveness" (click HERE),  I made the choice to get some help dealing with my childhood sexual abuse so that I could go on with my life.  (Thanks Be to God!)

Today,  I'm not talking about me--but about a very very good friend of mine,  Susan.  Susan and I grew up together and have kept in touch almost all of our lives.  Several years ago,  I got an email from Susan --and the title said "Breast Cancer".   My heart immediately sank....  It was hard reading her words saying that she had just been diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  Obviously,  my heart was broken.

Cancer is such a horrible disease.  In fact, it took the life of one of my brothers in 1985.  I have prayed for Susan almost continually through her battle.  She has truly had several good years.  But--she has had some rough times as her cancer spread to her bones.

Anyone who knows Susan knows that she has a fabulous attitude and has worked hard (without complaining) through all of the pain and suffering, to have the best life she can have.  She even took a trip to Alaska last Summer.  I truly think it is because of her attitude and outlook that she has done so well.

However, these past several months,  she has had a really hard time.  She's been in and out of the hospital several times with fluid build-up in her lungs and around her heart, along with other problems.  I was so afraid that her end was near.  She seemed to have given up the fight.

BUT--thanks to a wonderful doctor (and to her fabulous family and set of friends),  and ONLY after Susan hit 'bottom' did she finally decide her future.  Lying in her hospital bed recently,  she asked her doctor if she was dying.  This doctor said that it was all up to her.  He wasn't ready for her to die ---and wanted to send her to rehab at another facility.   He said that he wouldn't send her IF he thought she was dying.

Susan thought about those words,  and told herself that she could just lie there and die ---or get up and keep on --keeping on.  She chose to  PERSEVERE.  As I write this,  Susan has been in a rehab facility for a few weeks.  When I talk to her,  she sounds like a new person.  She says that they are working with her about six hours a day (physical therapy) to help her get her strength back.  (She had lost all energy and strength since she's been so sick and in the hospital so much.)

She's eating again ---and gradually getting better.  She actually hopes to go home soon.  I am so very very proud of her.  So many of us would have just given up.  She is the ultimate example of PERSEVERANCE.

Who knows what Susan's future holds?  That dreaded cancer is WINNING --but she's not going to give up until  there is just no breath left inside of her. Susan does a have a goal which she is working on now.  Her youngest son is getting married in the near future.  Of course,  she doesn't want to miss that wedding.  God be with Susan,  my special childhood friend.

You can read more about Susan on a couple of previous blogs (click HERE and HERE).  Today,  I will share a few more pictures of Susan.

Here's Miss Cutie Pie in her shorty-pj's  ---when we were teens,  and she was spending the night with me!!!!!

Here's me (with my niece, Carolyn) and  Miss Prissy Susan ---also taken when we were teens!

Here is a picture of Susan and me after playing tennis with our high school boyfriends.  (Neither of us married those boys!!! ha)

Here is a fairly recent picture (Dec/Jan)  taken of Susan with her newest grandson, Andrew!!!

And  here is a proud Nana with Drew's two big sisters,  Lindsey and Rebecca.  Susan's three grands are the children of her oldest son, Brad and wife Joy.  She ADORES her grandloves---as all of us Grandmothers do!!!!

++++++++++++++++

So,  what about you?  Do you give up when times are tough?  The truth is that our true character is determined by how we deal with our obstacles.  The bottom line is that it doesn't matter if you get there fast or slow,  as long as you keep on going.  Hold steadfast to your vision,  your hopes,  your dreams and your desires.  Never stop and never give up!!!

Calvin Coolidge once said:  "Nothing in the world can take the place of PERSEVERANCE."   God Bless You,  Susan ---and all of the others out there who are struggling with a dread disease.  You are an inspiration to all of us!

By the way,  today is Susan's BIRTHDAY..... Happy Birthday, my Friend!

Hugs,

The Truth about FORGIVENESS

Recently,  I looked at my blog stats.  Have you done that?  It's very interesting --and tells alot as to who is looking at our blogs and which posts they look at the most.  One post that I wrote in 2009 entitled "The Truth about Hugs" (click HERE) has had 5,439 views since I published it.  Another one I wrote only a month ago on Honesty (click HERE) has gotten 3,205 views already.  That just shocks me to know that so many people are reading our blogs.  They don't comment --so we don't know unless we look at the statistics.

Anyhow,  while thinking about those two titles,   there's another blog which I have been thinking about writing for quite a long time now.   BUT--since my blog title is "Joyful Reflections"--I try to keep most of my posts JOYFUL.  This topic which I have chosen today is a hard one  for most of us I'm sure.  We are all human and there are people in our lives which, for various reasons,  we have been estranged from or struggling with,  sometimes for years.  OR--life has changed all around us and we wonder how we can cope.  There is tension and stress and sometimes,  lots of bitterness.  In some cases,  things which have happened to us completely control us ---and take over our lives.

For over 25 years,  I worked for a church and did a fair amount of unofficial counseling.  I was a good listener --so people felt safe talking to me.  I also was not judgmental with others,  even though there were times when I had to work hard not to shake someone and just say:  "Get over it"....

Ninety percent of the time,  I was a help to others who sometimes just needed to talk. I heard many, many stories about family problems,  problems with relationships,  abuse--both physical and verbal,  death and bereavement,  along with who-knows what else!!!  The one thing I knew for sure when trying to help someone else is that no amount of words which I (or anyone else) could say would help unless that person is ready to make some different choices for him or herself.  It's like losing weight.  Nobody else can shame me into losing weight.  It only happens when "I" am ready to do something about it myself.

What nobody ever knew most of my adult life (while I was busy helping others)  was that I was sexually abused by a family member as a child.  It was bad enough for a child to go through that --but what was worse for me was the fact that when I confronted my mother with what was going on,  SHE didn't believe me.  I just had to move on ---and just ignore that it happened.  That is what I did for many, many years.  It affected me (through my weight problem) and it affected my relationships.  BUT--I was 'above' it ---and 'thought' that I was a BIGSHOT who didn't need any help getting over it.  HA.......

Finally,  about 1998,  a very good friend (he knows who he is) got me to talk about it --and helped me get counseling myself --for the first time in my life.  I was able to deal with it on a professional level, and learned alot about myself during those sessions.   YES---there are times when the bitterness rears its ugly head these days --but I am now doing fine.   (Of course,  it helps to have such a loving, supportive husband.)

Here are some things I have learned through my own experience and  by talking and listening to others all through the years:
-We cannot ignore situations which alter our lives.
-We need to be willing to admit that we need help.
-We need to do whatever necessary to get that professional help.
-We don't need to sit around and either feel guilty or feel sorry for ourselves.
-We don't need to allow hurtful situations to 'control' us and our lives.
-Sometimes,  all we need is TIME..  BUT--don't let that stop you from living.
-By ignoring a situation,  we allow it to grow and grow and turn into something worse than the situation itself.

And more importantly:
-We need to FORGIVE.   Most people think that by forgiving,  we are saying that what happened was okay... That is not true.  By forgiving,  we are saying that we no longer are going to allow the pain that they inflicted on us to control us.
-Forgive for YOURSELF--not for the other person(s).  You need to be able to forgive so that you can rid yourself of all of the baggage you have been carrying.
-You will never FORGET just because you forgive..   It happened --and it will always be there, inside of you.  But,  by forgiving, you can stand up and shout:  "I forgive so that I will no longer allow you to control me.  I am going to proudly get on with my life".

And the last thing which is also extremely important:
-You must LOVE yourself so that you are able to forgive and get on with your life.
-Love is the key.  I did not love myself for many years.  Now I DO--even with all of my craziness at times!!!!!

I didn't share my story to make you sad.  Mine is a SUCCESS story.  I did FORGIVE and even though all of my family are gone now,  I still love them ALL very, very much.

I have always enjoyed writing --but I never realized, when I first started blogging,  that I would be able to help others through my words... I hope that something I have said has made you THINK.   I am always here (email me) if you need to talk. God has blessed me.

Blessings to you.

Let's Talk Friday: Vacation Spots

I recently read an article online listing the Top Ten USA Vacation Spots...  Except for Las Vegas, this particular article only mentioned STATES (not specific areas).... But--it's interesting to see what people choose as the 'top' vacation spots  when you read these types of articles... The Top Ten list in the article I read includes:

• Hawaii
• Las Vegas
• Florida
• California
• Texas
• Georgia
• Virginia
• New York
• North Carolina
• Colorado

What do you think of a list like this????   I personally (when reading about a 'popular' vacation spot)  usually decide NOT to go there --because so many places are nothing but tourist traps --and wall-to-wall people....  We live near the Great Smoky Mountains (which for some reason didn't make this list) --but it is a very popular vacation spot for many people.  George and I stay away from the Smokies during the tourist seasons because we don't like sitting in traffic or waiting in lines.. Besides--we love the mountains when there are FEW people around!

I guess that is why we choose places like Mt. Nebo, Arkansas or  Ocean Isle Beach,  North Carolina.  Those two places are fabulous ---but would probably never make a "Top Ten" list.   Mt. Nebo is a state park on the top of a mountain.  Ocean Isle is a beach town north of Myrtle Beach.   Myrtle Beach is one of those touristy places where we would not choose to stay.

Mt. Nebo and Ocean Isle Beach are two places we visit at least once every year (sometimes more).  BUT--we've had other great vacations since getting married.  Our South Caribbean Honeymoon Cruise will always stand out as a fabulous vacation.  Then there was the trip to see Niagara Falls... AND--we loved our visit to Williamsburg/Jamestown/Yorktown...  Oh My---I will never forget our Virginia trip to the Shenandoah Valley, or our trip to Charleston/Savannah....  This coming Summer,  we'll be visiting the Grand Canyon--so I cannot wait for that trip.

It's hard to choose a favorite vacation --but I guess if I 'had' to choose one of ours,  I would choose the South Caribbean Cruise.  It was the first cruise for both of us --and we were newlyweds...

Here are some places which I would love to see sometime:  Alaska,  Hawaii,   Yellowstone,  Yosemite.  I'm sure there are others,  but these four come to mind quickly.

My questions today:
-What is your favorite vacation EVER --if you had to choose only one?
-What are some other places you haven't been --but would love to visit?

Speaking of vacations,  we are taking a BLOG VACATION this next week.   We'll be back on Monday,  May 9th.  Have a wonderful week.

UPDATE:  I wrote this blog post a week ago,  but after all of the damage and devastation caused by tornadoes in our country this past Wednesday,  I really thought about doing something different.  I hate thinking about vacations when so many people don't even have a home to live in anymore. 


But--after thinking about it,  I decided to go ahead and use this one.  BUT--I'll end with a request:   Please say a prayer for all of the people who suffered so much loss due to the tornadoes.  And--if you have a little extra money,  give a donation to the American Red Cross for them.

Hugs, Prayers and THANKS!!!

P.S.  ALL photos/illustrations came from the internet.

Let's Talk Friday: Easter Memories

All Christians know and celebrate EASTER each year.  This is the time when Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Hallelujah!

However,  today I want us to talk about some SECULAR Easter memories... I'm going to list some possibilities  ---and then you can pick out a few memories to share with all of us.

Did you decorate Easter Eggs as a child ---or do (did) you decorate them with your own children????   My funny memory about Easter Eggs was when I was a little girl,  our eggs were ALWAYS the real thing.  There were no plastic eggs back then.  We would decorate them --and then hide them in the yard.   Almost every year,  there was at least one of those eggs which I could not find.  Even my parents (who hid them) couldn't find it....  A few weeks later,  we would find it---simply by SMELLING it!!!! ha

Did the Easter bunny bring you something on Easter morning?????

Did the Easter bunny bring you an Easter basket?   I remember feeling like it was Christmas morning----because when I would get up that day,  I just knew that the Easter Bunny was bringing me a special basket filled with eggs and more.

I don't remember getting much candy in my Easter basket back then--but what I do remember is buying my kids (who are now in their 40's) those big chocolate bunnies to go in their baskets...

The thing I remember about those big chocolate bunnies was that they were the worst tasting chocolate I had ever had!!!!!  (Wonder if that was because I bought the cheapest ones available?????)   However--my 3 sons loved them and ate every bite!!! ha

Did you wear an Easter Bonnet to church????   I used to, when I was a little girl ---along with fancy gloves and new shoes,  and a new dress.   However,  I don't think I ever wore a hat like the one pictured above... ha ha

I just have to include this picture...  (ALL of my pictures today are from the internet.)  Anyhow---I googled Easter Outfits and this one popped up..  I  absolutely love that little Easter outfit that little girl has on.   It is gorgeous...  My Easter Outfits NEVER looked that cute...

I raised three sons (no girls) ---so I couldn't 'frilly' them up on Easter... However,  just ask my sons about the year I bought and made them all wear those gross beautiful LEISURE SUITS....  Anyone remember them?????? ha ha

Did you make any cute little Easter crafts????  This one using the gloves is adorable.  It's a Glove Puppet.

Finally,  I have always thought of Easter when I see Easter Lilies... Going to church on Easter Sunday and seeing the church decorated with Easter Lilies is a memory I will always cherish.   There have been many years when I placed a Lily in church on Easter Sunday in memory of my parents.  After the worship service,  we could take those Lilies home with us to enjoy in our homes.   OR--we could give the Lily to the area nursing home or to an elderly person to enjoy.

OH--so many memories I have about the JOYS of EASTER....  Not only do I enjoy the real Easter Message,  but I also enjoy all of the other things which make Easter enjoyable for all.   Now--it's your turn!!!!!   Tell us one (or more) of your special Easter memories.

Have a very Happy Easter --and a great weekend.  I will see you on Monday.

Hugs,

Let's Talk Friday: Some Blogging Questions

You probably knew that I'd get to the subject of Blogging one of these Fridays!!!!! ha ha...   After all,  it is something we all know and love!!!!  Right?????    AND--I must say that there are no right and wrong answers... Most of blogging is all about personal choice... That is what makes blogging so interesting...  Think about the blogs you follow.... I follow about 100 blogs  (and I am always updating my lists--adding people and taking people off, to keep my list current).  

The blogs I follow  present a great variety to me (which I love):  photo-only blogs;  personal story blogs;  family-oriented blogs;  blogs about gardening--which include both veggies and flowers;  travel blogs;  blogs about pets;  birding blogs;  cooking and food  blogs;  health and well-being type blogs;  question-based blogs; etc. etc. etc.  

What is the most important thing about blogging to you?  To me,  I love getting comments and building relationships (through email)... That way,  I can really get to know another blogger.  The number of followers doesn't mean as much to me --- since many of those people never make a comment, so I don't get to know them.

This brings me to the most important question: In your opinion,  what is the best way to thank people who come to your blog, or ask you a question?????  I struggle with this one --and notice that bloggers do it several different ways (depending upon the number of comments you get, or the amount of time you have to devote to blogging). 

Here are some of the ways I have seen this done:
1. Some bloggers respond to comments on their own blog --as another comment.
2. Some bloggers send an email to everyone who comments on their blog, even if it is just a thank you.
3. Some bloggers don't reply to comments unless a question is asked.  Then,  they may either email or leave a comment on the blog.
4. Some bloggers thank others who visit their blog,  by visiting that person's blog. 

I used to do #1 above ---but realized that most people (me included) never have time to return to that blog.  SO---I decided not to do it anymore. 

I have never done #2--and really don't think it is needed.  I have some wonderful blog friends who always send me a 'thank you' via email when I comment on their blog.  That is nice and I do appreciate them taking the time for this.  I will say that I would probably do alot more of this IF I had the time.   BUT--keeping up with so many blogs is about all that I can handle (and I cannot always do this well either).  

I am one of the #3 group.   I do appreciate all of the comments, and hope that people know that.  IF they ask a specific question,  I will email them with the answer...  If I don't have their emails,  I WILL leave an answer on my blog for them (wondering if they will come back to get the answer)...  OR--I sometimes leave an answer on THEIR blog.  I feel like the most important thing for me to do is #4.

Most of us (I think) participate in #4.  I always visit another blogger who visits me.  If we enjoy each other's blogs and start communicating regularly,  that is when I make a decision to follow that person's blog (after several visits).  

NOW--it's your turn to talk!!!!!  Which of those four ways listed do you do to  communicate with others?  OR---do you know of another good way to communicate?  OR---is communication important to you??? I would love hearing your opinions --and hopefully,  they will help me and others do a better job of saying Thank You.


We had a great time at Biltmore yesterday and didn't get home until 8 p.m.   We saw lots of Dogwoods,  Azaleas,  Tulips and even some Daffodils still blooming.  What a fabulous place.  I'll share pictures next week.  Have a great weekend.  I'll see you on Monday.


Hugs,
 
ALL illustrations and pictures today are from the internet.

Let's Talk Friday: HONESTY

Do you get those constant telephone calls  (even though you are on the NO CALL LISTS) where they try to upgrade something you have, or sell you something you do not want????  We have caller-ID and seldom even answer the home phone anymore.  It's SO annoying ---even though you tell them to take your name off of the list.  We have even reported some of these annoying people.... That works for awhile,  but then, more start coming!!!!

Anyhow ---we were expecting an important phone call this past week,  so we answered one of the NON-LISTED numbers...  This one just happened to be our local telephone company.  Gee Whiz---did they have a 'deal' for us,  their 'good' customer...  I was stupid and LISTENED.

Okay--I need to give you some background about our telephone company, and our history with them.  This is FRONTIER Telephone,  and we started our home phone service and DSL with them in 2002.   We have an old plan with them which is semi-adequate (not really) for our needs,  even though the DSL is SLOW.

Anyhow,  about 2 yrs. ago,  a Frontier Salesman came to our door and told us that Frontier was improving its plans --and that he could sell us a plan that would give us better internet access,  for about the same money we were paying then.  We decided to accept this plan.  WELL--a few days later,  we noticed that we didn't have voice mail or caller ID anymore.   SO---I spent hours (it seems) on the phone with their customer service finding out that it would cost us more to get these options now.  The sales person had not told us this....  SO---after bitching and griping,  we went back to our old plan...

THIS brings us to this past week. Another Frontier salesperson caught us off-guard  after answering the phone.  WELL--since we are still unhappy with our internet speed and also have been having problems accessing our internet mail through Frontier,  I listened to this lady give us her talking points...  (Big Mistake!!!)

This time though,  I was much better prepared with my questions.   She told us that we could get a MUCH BETTER plan than we have now and it would cost us LESS.....  (That should have been a clue to hang up right then!!!! ha)

My questions to her:
-Does this plan include voicemail and caller ID?   YES
-Are there any set-up charges ?   NO  (BIG LIE)
-Is this amount which you have quoted the absolute bottom line cost  (except for taxes)?   YES  (another BIG LIE)

To be truthful to you,  I will say that this NEW plan was better than the one we have.  It 'should' cost more.  BUT--why can't companies like this just be honest when going over all of the details???  Do they think we are stupid???  Maybe we are stupid when talking to these telemarketers... AND---I was stupid because I had already gone through this once before with this same company.

The lady emailed me the confirmation with ALL of the costs and details...  When I got this email,  I was SHOCKED... SO---I called Customer Service again and talked to someone there---who just had no idea how one of their sales people could have told me those things.  I told her to go back and listen to our conversation --since they announced when I first got the call --that it would be recorded.  She didn't have an answer for that.  Anyhow---she couldn't give me a better deal,  so we opted totally out of this new plan.

We now still have that OLD plan --which is truly inadequate.  And now it seems as if Frontier changed it after this phone call---and our email access through Frontier  no longer is available at all,  and getting on the internet is even slower than it was ...  We obviously are looking for another internet option --and will probably get rid of our home phone completely (since we do have a cellphone).

This was just so frustrating to me.   I was upset with myself for even listening to  this company's propaganda, and then believing them.   I don't think we would have minded paying more for a better plan,  but we just wanted them to be HONEST with us. Why can't they do that??????   I'm an honest person and I expect others to be honest with me.

My questions for you to ponder:
-Has this type of thing happened to you?
-Do you experience dishonesty?
-How do you handle situations when people are dishonest?
-How can we stop all of the dishonest telemarketers in our country? (It's kinda sad that we can't even answer our phones these days.)

Hope you have a great weekend. I'll see you on Monday.
Hugs,

All illustrations came from the internet.