Showing posts with label JOKES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JOKES. Show all posts

Monday, April 19, 2010

"Finer than Frog Hair"

Are there funny or strange sayings that you remember from one of your relatives, or from your childhood??? My sweet Daddy (who died in 1969) used to always say if anyone asked how he was, "I'm just finer than frog hair"..... I used to think that was so funny ---but I never did know where he got that expression. Years later, long after he died, I read that expression on a list of old sayings.... SO---I guess it didn't originate with him (like I thought it had). But all of through the years, I gave him credit for saying something so funny ---and yet strange.... (How fine is frog hair anyhow??????)

My friend GINNY from Virginia was talking in her blog yesterday about SALT... I had to tell her about another of these old sayings: "Throw salt over your shoulder for good luck". Have you heard that one???? Anyhow, her blog made me start thinking about all of these old sayings, many of which I have heard, off and on all of my life... SO---I thought I'd share a few of them with you today. I'm sure you can add some to this group, and I hope you do....

1. "Flat as a Flitter" (What in the heck is a flitter???)

2. That's as "Fast as All-Get-Out" (I heard this one growing up also...)

3. Here's a funny one: "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."

4. "You look like somethin' the cat dragged in."

5. "Now---that's a fine how-do-you-do!!!"

6. "He was movin' so slow, dead flies wouldn't fall off 'im."

7. "I'm gonna slap you so hard, when you quit rollin' your clothes will be outta style."

9. "I'm as mad as a mule chewin' on bumblebees." (Yipes)

10. This one is BAD... Sorry!!!! "She's so ugly they had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her."

11. Are you ever THIS busy? "Busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time"

12. And my fav: "Well----butter my butt and call me a biscuit"..... ha ha ha

NOW---tell me some of your favorite old sayings!!!!

Hope you had a great weekend.

P.S. All pictures today came from the internet!!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Me and Maxine

I have been tagged by Mary Beth at SMALL CITY SCENES. I usually avoid these types of things, but thought, "Why Not?"--because it was almost a year ago when I last did one. I also enjoy reading these from other bloggers---since I am always wanting to get to know people on more of a personal level. Can you believe that I go to some people's blogs almost everyday, and yet--I do not even know their name. How sad is that!!! My favorite bloggers are ones I email with (in addition commenting on their blogs) and consequently, we become great friends.

SO---here goes!! I added some of my favorite added Maxinisms, to spruce up what might be a boring (to you) post.. Thanks to Mary Beth for her encouragement. AND--I encourage everyone to check out MB's blog. Click on the link above. You'll love it!!!!

Here is my list of 8 things in 8 categories (nothing is in any kind of specific order):
8 TV Shows I watch
(NOTE: Good category for me since George and I watch ALOT of TV; We watch Fox News --and I enjoy sports--but our favorite shows are here, in no particular order.)
1. "24"
2. Leverage (my all-time favorite show)
3. The Good Wife (my favorite new show this year)
4. Criminal Minds
5. NCIS and NCIS: LA
6. All of the CSI's
7. All of the Law and Orders
8. The Closer
More: House, The Mentalist, Bones----etc. etc. etc.


8 Places I like to Eat
1. Home--when my hubby cooks (YUM)
2. Olive Garden
3. Favorite seafood restaurants near Ocean Isle Beach: Twin Lakes, Dockside, Boundary House
4. Golden Corral in Cookeville, TN (best pot roast in the world!)
5. Hardee's (best thickburgers in the world)
6. Local Restaurants: KFC Buffet, Ryan's, our Chinese Restaurant, Cancun's Mexican, Cracker Barrel
7. Cafe UNO for Chicago Pizza
8. Steak Restaurants (Outback, Logan's, Texas Roadhouse, etc.)

8 Things I look forward to
1. Getting lots and lots of Blog Comments!!!!! YOU make my day!
2. SPRING --when our roses and spring flowers start blooming, and when we make our annual trip to the beach
3. A surprise trip planned by hubby for Valentine's Day, our trip to Mt. Nebo in Arkansas the end of February, and George's 68th birthday trip in March
4. Getting my daily emails and texts from my BFF Judy
5. Hiking and seeing many more waterfalls (we've seen about 400 since 2001)
6. Seeing new backyard birds --and getting them to my feeders
7. When I can spend time with my sons and grandchildren; Love getting texts from my sons!
8. George and my daily devotional time together with God

8 Things I like about Winter
1. Hiking --I enjoy hiking when it's cold!!!
2. Snow and Icicles; I LOVE snow!!!
3. Fires in our fireplace
4. my Electric Blanket
5. Leaves off of the trees--so that I can SEE the birds better
6. the Colder Weather (don't like HEAT and HUMIDITY)
7. my favorite holiday season, Christmas
8. lots of great football games

8 Things on my Wish List
1. Good health for many years for me and for George
2. A new camera for both George and for me, including a long lens for birding!
3. A cabin on the top of a mountain somewhere (maybe in Arkansas)
4. LOTS and LOTS more years with George
5. Traveling (eventually want to go to Alaska and to Hawaii and out west and to Canada--etc. etc. etc.)
6. Good Health for my childhood friends: Susan, Reida and Nita
7. Getting some SNOW here in Fairfield Glade (the 'wet' kind which clings to everything)
8. For success and great lives ahead for my five grandchildren

8 Things I am passionate about
1. SPORTS (especially the Vols football and basketball, and Titans football)
2. Blogging (absolutely love it --although it does take alot of time to do it right)
3. my Love for George and OUR love for God
4. Love of the USA --and praying that we vote the corrupt Congressional leaders OUT of office, while working hard to keep God in the center of all things
5. our yard (Roses and Flowers) and home, including my love of our backyard birds
6. Photography (waterfalls, birds, flowers, home, etc.)
7 Love for family and friends
8. our MAC computers!!!! Yeah Rah!

8 Things I learned from the past
(NOTE: This was definitely the hardest category for me since I don't live in the past --and really don't remember too much about it.)
1. That I am a good and worthwhile person, even though I've struggled all of my life with my weight (In past, my weight kept me from having much self-esteem, and I felt as if I had to work 24/7 to prove myself.)
2. I did not know what real love and relationship was until I met George
3. Hurts from my past are still inside of me, and come back up sometimes (even though I have dealt with them professionally through the years)
4. Ambition can get you FAR. After my divorce, I worked fulltime, got my Master's degree and raised my two younger children by myself!
5. I learned the importance of God in my life from my parents. I hope I instilled that in my sons and hope that they instill it in their children.
6. I learned that you can't dwell on the past -- and you need to live in the moment, doing the very best you can while looking toward the future.
7. From my mother, I learned the importance of Family History. I just wish I had have been more interested when Mom was alive.
8. IF I could give advice to the younger generation, I would tell them to learn to slow down and enjoy your children and your life more. My children grew up so quickly --and the time passed by so quickly. I sometimes wonder where all of those years went.

8 Things I want and/or need
(NOTE: I truly have a wonderful life now --and had trouble finding things to add!!! But--I tried!)
1. Good Health
2. A continued relationship with my God
3. More time with my sons and grandchildren
4. More TIME in my life to get things done (HA)
5. More ENERGY and Less Aches and Pains (Quit getting older!!! ha)
6. Hey, how 'bout a little less WEIGHT on me????? ha
7. NEED to be a little less passionate about my football teams ---when they LOSE; (Hubby would say AMEN to this one!!!)
8. And --one of the most important things which probably won't EVER happen: PEACE in the WORLD

I love Maxine ---and had seen some of these before... BUT--some of them are new to me. Hope you enjoyed my post ---and if you don't want to read all of the 'things' about ME, at least you can enjoy some Maxinisms.

Even though I am supposed to, I am not going to "TAG" anyone specifically. But if you would like to do this, I would love to read your ideas... Just let me know IF you are going to do it!!!!

Hope all of you have a wonderful Wednesday.. Thanks for your thoughts about my crazy foot problem!!!!


Friday, November 20, 2009

What did you mean??????

My friend, Reida, sent me these 'cuties' through an email... I'm sure you have read some or all of them before, but they still can bring a smile to your face---or maybe a confused look!!!! I have added some photos from the internet. ENJOY!!!

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 

(Well, let's see. How can that be????)

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 

(Really? Ya think?)


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 

(Now that's taking things a bit far, don't you think?! )


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 

(What a guy!)


Miners Refuse to Work after Death 

(Well---Those 'good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! )


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 

(See if that works any better than a fair trial!)

War Dims Hope for Peace 

(I can see where it might have that effect! )


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 

(Ya think?! )


Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 

(Who would have thought! )


Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 

(They may be on to something! )


Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 

(You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? Tee Hee) 


Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge 

(He probably IS the battery charge! )


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 

(Weren't they fat enough?! )


Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 

(That's what he gets for eating those beans!) 


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 

(Do they taste like chicken?)


Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 

(Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 

(Boy, are they tall!)


And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 

(Did I read that right? )

These are really funny, but sorta sad ---if you think about it. People are 'hired' to proof-read this kind of stuff BEFORE it gets printed.... Wonder if these 'proof-readers' took their morning pills from the Duh Can?????? Heaven help us!!!!!

Have a wonderful day---and be careful what you put in writing!!!!! Har Har Har


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Is there a Room for ME????

See that photo above???? I'm afraid that my time has come to enter the Asylum... Recently, I've made some crazy mistakes.....

I've been "dazed and confused".....

The puzzle won't fit.... What is the problem???? WELL---first of all, I took on the responsibility (since I'm such a smart person who minored in Math in college) of working out the finances for my upcoming trip with my childhood friends in October... I had to pay some money upfront---so I thought I had it all worked out to the minute detail... I sent out emails to my friends telling each of them what they are going to have to pay for our cabin rental...

Instead of just giving them the bottom line of what they owed (which is probably what they wanted), I went into massive details --breaking it all down into its bits and pieces (like only a Math person would do). I was proud of myself and all of my 'hard' work.

WELL---- I finally heard back from one of my friends questioning my totals. How dare her question ME????? WELL---she had to go into detail in order to make ME understand that I had added it all wrong. I did what?????? ME---the Math person????? YES---I did.... I had to eat a little crow and apologize, something that we perfectionists don't like to have to do...

What is wrong Mrs. Math Person????? Are you stressed out?????

Too much late-night blogging, do you think??????

And then, after that embarrassing mistake, I did something even more stupid..... I hate to tell you this story because I'm sure you'll be crying (laughing) your heart out for me. BUT......

Last Wednesday, at the grocery store, George and I bought a couple of beautiful (and not cheap) steaks to throw on the grill on Labor Day. We NEVER ( I mean SELDOM) spend the extra money to purchase steaks. It was to be a beautiful holiday celebration. All was fine until Sunday.

I could almost SMELL those steaks ---as I got ready to marinate them on Sunday. I hollered to George and said, "Honey (sure I said Honey), please get the steaks out of the frig in the garage." George said, "Honey, I didn't put them in the garage frig." UH-OH (you know what is coming!!!)..... I said, "Honey, I didn't see them. I didn't put them in the kitchen frig." Double Uh-Oh.... We both looked in both refrigerators ----and guess what????? NO Steaks!!!!!

I then started looking inside the re-usuable bags (that we take to the store each week)..... Sure nuff---there were our expensive steaks in the bottom of one of the bags HIDING below the other folded-up bags. Yum---can you imagine seeing (and smelling) those steaks being OUT of the frig since Wednesday??????? YUK!!!!!! I was so upset... I had looked forward to that meal so much... Guess it wasn't meant to be...

My hubby (being the Sweetie he is) said, "Let's go and buy some more." I said "NO.... I'm not going to spend that kind of money again. We'll just wait and have steaks on another special occasion." George said OKAY---but he would have done whatever I wanted. I truly felt terrible. What a stupid mistake!!!!!! Why couldn't I have left a can of tuna or some chicken noodle soup in the bag???? Why our beautiful steaks?????? GADS!!!!!

Think they are ready for me at the Asylum?????? Maybe they'll have a bed for me... Does that look comfy?

OR----maybe I can find a "Tree Bed" ----so that I can sleep with the BIRDS... They'd love me --no matter how much of a bird-brain --oops, I mean a NUTTY person that I was!!!!!!

Hope you had a great Labor Day weekend. After all of my mistakes, we really did have a wonderful weekend. In fact, instead of trying to grill anything on a rainy day yesterday, we just visited one of our favorite Mexican Restaurants up here for some fajitas. Thank Goodness I didn't spill anything on me while I was there, or else, George may have to have me committed.

Now---don't laugh TOO hard at this post, or I might have to ZAP a whammy on your computer. Ha Ha Ha


P.S. All of the above pictures came from the internet!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

My Birds Name their Favorite Songs

I don't know about you----but my backyard birds talk to me!!!! Recently, I asked them to list their favorite songs. SO---here they are just for you!!!! Above, one of our Brown Thrashers told me his favorite song. Since he and his lady just had 3 new babies, he said that his favorite song is ROCK A BYE BABY. Appropriate, don't you think???? Below are others.



A young House Finch (I think): THANK GOD, I'M A COUNTRY BOY


Some kind of Wren (????): BORN TO BE WILD



young Tufted Titmouse: SHAKE YOUR BOOTY


Mourning Dove at the birdbath: SITTIN' ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY



My birds have quite a sense of humor, don't they????? ha ha ha.... Hope you enjoyed hearing about their favorite songs!!!!!!