BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE QUOTES ON MY SIDEBAR.

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE QUOTES ON MY SIDEBAR.

Monday, November 11, 2013

What's Your Story?

I was reading a favorite blog of mine by Dr. Kathleen Mc Coy (Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond).  One of her latest posts  (click HERE) really spoke to me ---and gave me an idea for a post myself.  Dr. McCoy says that if we are willing to 'change our story',  we can change our life.  We need to let go of bitterness and anger, and to get rid of  old 'family roles'.  This can free us ---and help us change our story.




As I read this blog post (she gave several examples of people being 'stuck' in their stories, etc.),  I thought about my own life.  What is MY story?????  Well----long before I read Kathy's blog post,  I stepped out in faith,  definitely changing my life ---and story!




As background to this,  I will say that I had a wonderful childhood and fantastic parents.  I got married very young --and my then husband and I had 3 wonderful sons.  However, the marriage gradually deteriorated,  and lack of communication along with other issues finally ended that marriage --after almost 20 years.




I moved and raised my two younger sons by myself (older son was in college by then),  all while being employed fulltime AND while working on my Master's Degree.  Times were not easy--but I was one 'driven' lady...   I worked for another 20 years ---and most people who knew me then would say that I was definitely a 'work-a-holic'..... I loved my work--and worked many, many hours a day/week. 




Once my sons all grew up and after my good friend moved,  I began to realize that I was LONELY.   I had never even dated since my divorce,  and frankly,  hadn't wanted to for many years.  I hadn't even had much of a 'social life'.   BUT--as I got older and as the kids got married and had families of their own,  I knew that I needed a change.  I needed to 'Change my Story'...




This change was not easy --and my family and friends in Texas certainly didn't understand why I was leaving a good job and leaving my family...  I moved by myself to Tennessee in 2000  to begin a new job.  In the back of my mind,  I was hoping that I would meet that special someone sometime (although I wasn't sure I EVER would since I had been single for SO long).




WELL---I did meet George Adams when I moved to Tennessee,  my life TOTALLY changed,  and I found that true happiness I had lived so long without.   We got married in 2001.  I retired from that  'new' job in 2003 --and we moved to our beautiful little home here in Fairfield Glade.




BUT--as beautiful as my life was/is for me,  this new life wasn't always easy for my children and grandchildren.  My sons saw their 'work-a-holic' mother turn into a gardener,  a birder,  a hiker ----all things I had never done much of when the children were young.  I think for awhile (without my knowledge at the time),  my sons and families struggled with the 'new' Mom/Grammy.   I was oblivious of what was happening at the time since my happiness with my new husband became EVERYTHING to me.    Maybe I was ignoring my children/grandchildren---but I certainly never did it purposely.




These days,  I have a great relationship with all three sons ---but there's still tension within the rest of their families.   I have had to just 'let it go' ---and pray that someday,  those family members will understand that I love them all very much,  and that,  by getting married,  I never ever meant to hurt anyone--or make them feel as if I didn't care about them...




Would I change any part of my story?????  NOT a DROP of it!!!!!  I have the most wonderful husband that any woman could ever ever ever want... I am a blessed woman.  I wish that members of my family  could know George like I do.  BUT--the miles between us make that impossible.




I have learned that all people make choices in their own lives.  I pray that time will continue to heal those strained feelings within the family.  I love them --and hope that they will know that someday.  In the meantime,  I'm still the happiest woman in the entire world ---and have enjoyed these past 12 years with George more than one can imagine. I know that I'm still a 'work in progress'  ---and I pray this happiness will remain in me until the day I die. 


This photo is NOT me --but it could be.  I feel that kind of JOY each and every single day with George Adams.  Thanks be to God!

I'll close by saying that ALL of US can 'Change our Story' ---if it needs changing... I encourage each of you to step out in faith ---and find that deep HAPPINESS which may be hidden deep within you. 



Betsy playing in the Leaves!!!
All of the pictures except this one are from the internet.  I love quotes --and you know that if you read the ones I put on my sidebar each month... So many of these little quotes can speak to me---and hopefully to you.

George took this picture of me on Saturday, Nov. 9, 2013 ---while we were raking/blowing/mowing leaves.... I was sitting deep in the leaves ---showing more of the HAPPINESS I feel!!!!!  Yeah for MY life!!!!  I wish this kind of life for each and everyone of you. God Bless!!!

Be sure to check out Kathy's blog... She may speak to you ---just like she does to me!

Don't forget to THANK those who sacrificed so much for our freedoms.  Happy Veteran's Day!

Hugs,

59 comments:

Ms. A said...

I changed my story very early in my life and thank God I did. Decades have gone by since that change and it just might be time to consider making more changes.

You've cut your hair again, haven't you?

Our photos said...

The photo Betsy playing in the Leaves is so cute!
Monday greetings from Holland , RW & SK

Twilight Man said...

I love this post very much and many words were well written to lift up my spirits. We have so much similarities Betsy - somewhere!

I am glad you met handsome George at the right time and not one minute earlier. (Pssst! I am sure God arranged to move you to up north) Keep enjoying your life!

Linda@arichtapestry said...

An interesting post, Betsy. Thank you for sharing your experiences, your thoughts and, as always, your beautiful photos and inspiring quotes. Your last photo conveys that personal inner joy that you write about so movingly.

Sandra said...

Hi Betsy!
this is a wonderful post, it really is! I completely agree about 'changing your story' and I absolutely think that we are always evolving and taking the occasional risk pays off even though it's incredibly difficult at the time - there is freedom when we remove the chains we put on ourselves I think - I am so happy you are full of joy, it always radiates from you and the pic of you in the leaves is gorgeous! and I am also happy you and George are together, you both always look so happy x x x

Tabor said...

Pursuing happiness and replacing loneliness with partnerships is a valid reason to go on living. Those who do not understand this and cannot see how truly joyful you are, should be ignored!!

HOOTIN ANNI said...

Thing is, I have found in my thoughts and life now that our kids are grown...this is the TIME for me and Bud. Sure, we still love our kids deeply, but living our life for THEM is NOT the key to happiness!!!

Once a mother always a mother, we never stop worrying about our family and children/children's children...but to be able to say that happiness is with the many you love speaks volumes!

eileeninmd said...

Betsy, you are blessed! I am happy for you and George! Love the last photo of you in the leaves.
Have a happy day and week ahead!

Sandra said...

great story and mine follows the same line very closely, so i can relate to what you are saying

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

You have shared a very special part of your life.Thank-you. Sometimes we make the choice to change and sometimes the change is made for us,as in my case. I was content to be a wife,mother and grandmother but that has changed. I am still happy to be a mother and grandmother,but no longer have the role of a wife. When God took Jake to Heaven,I became a different person. I will admit,that although I still miss Jake,I am beginning to accept and actually like the new me.

Busy Bee Suz said...

What a beautiful post Betsy. I love when you share your heart; your story with me! You are an inspiring person and I love your story!
XOXO

linda m said...

Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are an inspiration. People really can change their "story" if they really want to. It isn't easy but God has promised He will always be there for us. I pray that someday the rest of your family will understand just how much you love them. Please don't ever stop posting all the wonderful quotes, I love reading them.
XOXO

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

What a joyous post dear Betsy. I am glad that you have found love and happiness in your life.

Like Ruth, I enjoyed my life as a wife, but that part of my life ended last December. I am learning to live differently without my other half, and am slowly but surely getting into this new lifestyle. Every day is a gift and I thank you for sharing your joy, which is contagious by the way, with all of us here in blogland.

Love and hugs to you and George.

FlowerLady

I love that photo of you in the leaves.

Nellie said...

Loved reading this, Betsy! Sending hugs your way! xo Nellie

Big Dude said...

Thanks for sharing the philosophy of your story Betsy. If some family members can't see how happy you are and understand that you deserve it, they may want to be working on their stories.

Catherine said...

Some excellent phrases. Love that last photo Betsy! Fun!
xo Catherine

Out on the prairie said...

Great post, you have been blessed. I have tried a few dates, but never can put it together very easy. I state often I would like to try it again, but haven't found a new model.

Karin said...

Thank you for sharing these deep thoughts and how your life's story has changed over the years. It's wonderful that you and George are very happy and enjoying your years in bliss and harmony. After 46 years of a beautiful marriage with Peter, major change has now been made mandatory in my life. With every passing day, I'm thankful for the true love and happiness that was mine. Not even six months yet since Peter's death and the loneliness is painful, despite still having my job, still babysitting some of the grands, socializing with caring friends and above all the loving support of my kids. My first time on my own, as I stayed at home until I married at 21. It's a huge change! My desire is for me to finish my life's journey well. Always seeking the Lord's advice and allowing Him to make the transformation necessary in my life - but it's not easy with the grief surges. Thanks for keeping me in prayer.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I love your happy story! ! And I admire you for seizing your joy.

Margaret Adamson said...

HI Betsy Many thanks for sharing such a personal post with us. I was rally touched. It is wonderful that you made that change, met George and are blissfully happy now. the last shots shows just that. GOd bless you both.

Diana said...

Betsy, love the post, the quotes from the internet, but especially your courage to do what was best for you. I can never understand some family member's selfishness when it comes to the happiness of another. We just have to move on and thank God you did and you found your soul mate. Blessings to you and George, and I'm proud to call you my friend.

Cheryl @ TFD said...

What a happy story! Loved it. That is such a cute photo of you playing in the leaves, too. Young at heart, that is the way to be! I do hope and pray that your family will come around and see that you are happy and be happy for you.
Enjoy your day!

Sylvia K said...

Your photo says it all, Betsy! That is indeed a picture of happiness!! Wonderful post for the day! Thanks for sharing!

Jo said...

Betsy, thanks for a wonderful story. The quotes are amazingly wise and the photo of you "says it all". Thanks for sharing and bless both you and George. (((Hugs))) Jo

Janice K said...

I enjoyed your post, and it reminded me of something from my life.

Once at a women's retreat, we were asked to find a picture in a magazine and use it to explain "who we were." I found a picture of a little girl, sitting on a sawhorse in a construction zone. It seemed kind of appropriate since I was working for a construction company a the time. However,the story behind the picture was that I was still "God's little girl, and still under construction." That was about 15 years ago, but it is still true today.

God bless your day!

Terry and Linda said...

WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Your post speaks loudly!!! Thank you!

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
http://deltacountyhistoricalsociety.wordpress.com

From the Kitchen said...

Betsy: I love this post! We'd all be so much better if we could just let go and start each day anew with a forgiving and open heart.

Best,
Bonnie

Happyone said...

A wonderful happy post. Love the picture of you in the leaves!! : )

Joy said...

What a lovely and inspiring story. I believe I made many drastic decisions in my life too because I thought it was the best for everybody although it hurts. Now, Like you, I am a happy woman.
Bless you Betsy. I really loved this entry. Feels that I come nearer to you!

wildlifewatcher said...

Hi Betsy, You have lived up to the title of your wonderful blog today as usual! Have a super nice coming week!

Linda Gross said...

An insightful post; well done!

diane b said...

A great uplifting post. Its great to see how happy you are.

Arkansas Patti said...

I wish your family that may have strained feelings, would read your blog. They must not for this post, actually all your posts, are a testament of your's and Georges's love for each other. Your happiness is a wonder to see and quite contagious.
I learned a long time ago that forgiving perceived slights is so very freeing. I wish them such a freedom.

Daisy said...

Betsy, you are such a cheerful, positive person. Thank you for this lovely, inspiring post.

David said...

Betsy, Changing your story is key for sure. I had one of those executive jobs where I worked 70+ hours a week. When that job went away, I had to learn to slow down and smell the roses. Most issues these days...I address directly if I can change the situation, and if I can't, I just let it go. One of our friends was widowed a couple of years ago. Her husband was a good guy but he was always up tight. She has found a new fella who she really enjoys being with but her daughter struggles with the new man in her mom's life. Our friend has decided that life is short and while she does what she can to ameliorate her daughter's feelings, she's moving on and enjoying her new life. Take Care, Big Daddy Dave

Janie said...

Betsy in the leaves shows the True You that I've known from your blog. Your positive attitude is an inspiration to many, and seeing you and George have so much fun together is a great example for how a relationship should be.

Neal said...

Well anyone who is around George very long knows he is a good man and knows that he cherishes you. What more could a family member want than to know that their mother/grandmother/mother-in-law/etc is in the care of a good man.

People have too big a tendency to dwell on the bad things that have happened in their life rather than seeing all the good things that have happened.

Ann said...

This is a wonderful story and you are living proof that changing your story can be done.
I absolutely love that picture of you in the leaves.

Fun60 said...

I have so much admiration for you. It takes such strength to do what you did by moving away from the life you had known for so long. One day maybe.........

SweetMarie said...

Love the pic of you in the leaves! This post made me cry, for all the right reasons.:) I love that you opened up and shared so much of who you are today and your journey along the way. Thank you for giving me so much to think about. :)
love & hugs,
Marie

Linda said...

I don't know how anyone who loves you can witness your happiness and begrudge it. I love the picture of you in the leaves. It speaks volumes.

Shug said...

Betsy.....I do believe that you most definitely were and are walking in the footsteps that God ordered for you. I am so proud of you!! I love the happiness that you have found and it is wonderful seeing the beautiful smile that adorns your happy face.
Great post my friend...
hugs to you...
shug

Rose said...

Betsy, this is a great post...

The Furry Gnome said...

Gr eat atoryBetsy! This post speaks to me very directly. I'll be r eating

Chatty Crone said...

I LOVED THIS! And I am going to share it. And I love you being in the leaves!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are so cute.

sandie

The Furry Gnome said...

Ok, sorry about the IPad glitch, but it was a great post. Spoke to me very well, and I've already looked at Dr. Kathy's blog. Thanks for sharing this.

carolina nana said...

God has blessed you richly and I'm glad you can enjoy what He has given you. You have never said why you choose to move to Tennessee but God had George there waiting for you !!
Blessing
Marilyn

Dorothy said...

I'm so glad you found your true happiness!! You know 'my story' and you know that I have also found my true happiness. I live every day with that child-like joy!

ladyfi said...

What an inspiring story - this moved me!

SquirrelQueen said...

What a great post Betsy, thanks for sharing your story. The photo of you in the leaves speaks volumes about your current happiness.

I have changed my story so many times in my life that I could fill a book case. The main one being leaving GA and, on a whim, moving to AK. I have never regretted it and if I had not made the choice I would not have met my soul mate. Plus I would have missed some fabulous adventures. I believe change can be good but we have to be willing to take a leap of faith and trust in ourselves.

Eva Ason said...

Hi Betsy,

What a wonderful story..I love happy endings. Guess I'm a hopeless romantic.

I really needed to hear this today, am facing a change (kind of) and am both exited and terrified about it...perhaps I should just take the leap eh?!
Have a lovely Day!

Eva

Small Kucing said...

Thanks Betsy. You are an inspiration.

I love how you have such a positive attitude in life

Swati Singh said...

Interesting story and beautiful quotes!
Nice photos.

Sharon said...

Oh Betsy, what a wonderful post. You and Georgie are such an inspiration to me and I truly believe God brought you to me through your blog. As you know, my story got changed abruptly and painfully by way of Bill's illness. But we believe that the change has already caused us to contemplate what our story will be moving forward. And we believe it will be even better.

LV said...

Betsy, you did a marvelous job telling your life in a nutshell. One thing I learned a long time ago, you cannot live your life to please everyone. Our lives are basically what we make them. You and George are a match made in heaven, regardless of what others think.

Beatriz said...

Hello Betsy

It may seem cliché, but it's true: we make our history all the time, joining every bit of happiness.
Your life has been an example of this, and you should feel proud!!!
A kiss from Brazil.

Have a great week >(((º>

Bia

DeniseinVA said...

I knew I liked you Betsy, you are one amazing lady! Thank you for sharing this very touching post, and I am so happy you found George.

Carletta said...

A very thought provoking post Betsy.
The shot of you in the leaves is priceless!

Retired English Teacher said...

You are one brave woman to share this story. It is so difficult when some family members don't share the same views on our current lives, or the might not accept how our stories have changed. You are so right to not let their desires for your story to dictate how you live your life.

I for one am so thankful learn from you about how to have joy, and happiness, and fulfillment in the last part of life. You go girl. All good stories have a beginning, a middle, and and end. I love your ending.