Welcome to JOYFUL REFLECTIONS. Also welcome to MARCH!!!! My header picture this month is a photo I took of the pretty Crocus blooms in our yard... The Crocuses and Daffodils are the first signs of spring here in Tennessee. I am definitely ready for SPRING...

Friday, March 25, 2011

Let's Talk Fridays: Can WORDS Hurt?

I am writing today's post after a personal experience recently which made me think.  Blogging is all about writing and the words we use:  what we say,  how we say it,  what we mean,  how our words are interpreted,  what others think of us by the words we use,  etc.




Sometimes we all say something to someone else in a comment which may be viewed differently by those who read the comment.  We may hurt someone's feelings without even knowing it.  OR we may give a person the wrong impression about us by the words we use.




Think about it!!  Have you said something on a blog post or in a comment which you regret?  OR---do you really think about or care what you say at all?




When you know someone on a personal level and talk to him or her frequently,  your words can be more easily understood and interpreted because you really 'know' that person.  Blogging is different.  Many of the folks you blog with are just 'blog friends' ---and the only way you know each other is through your WORDS to each other.  That is why I think that we all (myself definitely included) need to do a better job when choosing the words we use on blogs.




One thing which we all have to be careful about is expressing negative opinions.  We all have opinions ---and I think we can and do express them freely on blogs.  We know we have the 'right' to express them.




What I have tried to learn (and am still learning this) is to stay away from PERSONAL attacks which may hurt someone else.





This brings me to the situation I witnessed recently while visiting a friend's blog.  The blog post was well-written and there was nothing wrong with the post itself.  The problem came within the comments on that blog.  A couple of bloggers (whom I do NOT know) spewed some ugly words against another person.  They used words even worse than the ones you see in this illustration above.  I was SHOCKED.




Just reading these words about another human being really upset me, even though they were not about me...   There may be people in this world whom we don't like,  but why publicly say things like that about ANYONE????  That opinion hurts the person who makes it --more than the person they are criticizing.  Do they not realize that????  The comments upset me ---and certainly gave me a negative opinion about both of those bloggers who said that.  They are NOT people whom I would want to have as blog friends.




I guess what I am saying (to myself also) is to be careful what we say.  Remember this:  "Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones, but Words will Never Hurt me"????  Obviously, that is NOT TRUE.   Words do HURT. As it says above,  words can hurt our souls.




Have you been wounded by words?   I'm sure we all have ---and I'm sure that most of us have wounded others by our choice of words.  Reading that particular blog certainly taught me to be more careful when expressing an opinion which may hurt someone else personally.  What say YOU?????  Have you ever experienced something similar while blogging???

I am taking a week off from blogging.   SO--I will be back on April 4. Hope all of you have a great week, and remember to watch what you say--unless you want others to form a negative opinion about YOU.

Hugs,

P.S.  ALL illustrations/pictures came from the internet.

71 comments:

Beth said...

First off, let me say that your spring flowers are beautiful! And the ones that haven't bloomed yet are beautiful in their promises.
You have convinced me that if we are still here in this house in the fall, then I'm planting lots of bulbs for spring. If we end up buying our retirement house and renting this, then the renters will reap the benefit. And so will I when I visit my close friend next door.:)

I have not actually witnessed what you've said, but have read of it after the awful words have been removed by the blog owner. I know that in one instance it was a tirade against the young woman blogger's Christian beliefs. I remember thinking, "If you don't believe as she does, then DON'T read her blog!" She did make it clear that it was her blog and she had a right to express her beliefs on her blog.

In retrospect, recently when I was supporting a blogger friend who was trying to win a photo contest, I witnessed harsh criticism. She was writing a story to go with the photo and each day she wrote another paragraph or perhaps just a few sentences. She did it to give those of us faithfully voting each day, something to look forward to. It was her way of 'giving back'.
She was 'trashed' for doing this and one person lashed out at her for cheating with the story. This person wrote to the contest sponsors about how this was a photo contest and this woman's entry should be disqualified.
But it didn't stop there---they cruelly criticized her photo and her writing.
I did reply in the place provided for each comment, asking why they were haranging this lady. I politely told them that their criticism was mean-spirited and out of line and that I hoped they would find another way to release their anger. I pointed out the difference between constructive criticism and mean-spirited criticism.
It really bugged me. I didn't like some of the other photos entered or their accompanying comments to their entry, but I did not get on their site and tell them that. I simply didn't vote for their pictures.
I do believe that we have to take very seriously what we write in our blogs and our comments. Even in responding to their hurtful words, I was careful in my wording, because I didn't want to 'trash' them.
Excellent topic.

Enjoy your week---I will miss your photos and your wonderful personality that's evident in your words. Blessings to you, Betsy!

Kirigalpoththa said...

I think it is all about one's discipline in his/her action, talk and mind.

Wish you a good holiday Betsy!

Beth said...

By the way, my friend took the 'attacks' graciously and welcomed a reviewal by the contest sponsors. If she had misstepped, then she wanted to know.

Also, sorry I rambled. This topic does cause a reaction in me, because I see every day as a teacher how words can hurt.

Arkansas Patti said...

I think being electronically anonymous gives some the feeling they can say what they want since there are no consequences for themselves to suffer. I haven't yet been a recipient nor have I intentionally left such a message. If I don't agree with a blogger, I just go to next blog.
However, since there is no tone of voice to hear, nor smiling eyes to see, sometimes words can be misinterpreted. Hope I haven't been guilty of that.
Thanks for the reminder Betsy.

Arkansas Patti said...

PS Have a great blog vacation.

Ruth Hiebert said...

Oh,you will be missed,when I can't come to have that daily visit with you.I do hope you enjoy the time away.A break can be good.I have had hurtful words used towards me,not on the blog but in person.I think this can be every bit as hurtful as a physical blow.Words are very powerful.I hope that my words give encouragement and show love.
Ruth

Catherine said...

Enjoy your week off Betsy!

Have fun!
xo Catherine

Neal said...

I've seen a lot of what you are talking about and most of it has always involved politics. Those that claim to be so tolerant are normally the most intolerant and really get upset if you disagree with them politically. I have a thick skin and for the most part don't care what people think of me. Now don't get me wrong, I care about how my friends and family think. I have often wondered if I've hurt the feelings of a friend or family member by saying something and it was taken the wrong way. I like to tease a lot and can probably go overboard sometimes but I would never, ever intentionally try to hurt a friend or family member.

Hilary said...

I seen my share of the same. Some people can't resist spewing.

Hope you have a good week planned.

Anonymous said...

Have a wonderful trip.

Thoughtfully Blended Hearts said...

Betsy, have a beautiful week!!! ...and you have come to my defense several times...words are sometimes worse than bullets!!!
Great post!!!

Tabor said...

You are right-on Betsy. Words do hurt and if we disagree we can do so politely. Just saying..."Sorry, I disagree." is sufficient. I posted a smart alecky comment the other day...brief as I was trying to be funny, but I wondered if I should have, and either it got deleted or luckily I clicked the close window (which I frequently do) before I checked for a word verification request. It was not a nasty thing I wrote...but probably not polite in that they could not see the wink in my eye.

amelia said...

I try to be careful but once or twice, maybe more, I have said things which I have later regretted. Nothing hateful or nasty, just thoughtless.
I really try to be careful now and like some other commenters, just leave the blog if I don't agree with what is said.
I find the real 'holy roller' blogs hard to read so I don't. Simple, and if people don't like what is written, don't read, but as the blog owner, that person has every right to use the blog any way they want to.

amelia said...

By the way, enjoy your break and I hope you're doing something that's fun!!!
xoxoxo

Ginny Hartzler said...

Why are you taking a week off, what's wrong?? Is George as well? I will MISS you!! You are absolutely right about all this. Words hurt more than physical abuse, because they mess with our mind, they make us doubt ourselves and everything we do. Though thy shouldn't; it's the person who spews the words that is in bad shape. Blogs are a great opportunity to build people up and make them feel better. We have to be much more careful with words when writing, because others cannot see our expression, or hear our voice inflection, our words can be mistaken. Recently someone thought I really meant something that I thought was a funny joke. She e-mailed me and asked what she had done to upset me. I was HORRIFIED that she ha taken it that way and felt so badly!! I told her immediatly that I was being funny, but I'll tell you, even jokes are a risk if you are not face to face. I just hope she believed me and didn't think I was back pedalling.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you a very nice blog break Betsy.

Yes, words can hurt. I try hard to read and re-read my comments. Often, I say things that come out completely different than I intended.

Enjoy this beautiful, but cooler, day!

Jo said...

What a thought-inspiring post, Betsy. The Scripture which tells what the tongue can do, comes to mind: Those who love to talk, will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life. Proverbs 18:21. I always use words carefully and prayerfully. Especially now that I can express them on a blog. I trust I've never hurt anyone. I love your blog and the way you feel for others out there. Have a wonderful break, my blessed friend. (((hugs))) Jo xxx

MadSnapper said...

i have a few times made a comment that after i published it, i thought will they take that the wrong way. one thing i do now, if i read a blog that i feel i want to say something negative, i leave it and dont comment. i think about it and later go back if i can find something postive to say, if i cant i dont comment. i do not follow very many blogs that are about opinions, giving ours, for that very reason, words are so hurtful. i find on any blog if we think about it even if we don't agree with that person we can find something kind and uplifting to say. if i feel really strongly about it i don't comment.

Sunny said...

It does concern me that a comment maybe taken the wrong way. I read and re-read what I write and sometimes delete it in fear that it will be misinterpreted.
Unfortunately, humor can really be misunderstood!
Even though I try and avoid controversy on my blog, I occasionally get 'rude' remarks...I just delete them!
Have a lovely break from blogging and a great weekend.
☼ Sunny

Velvet Over Steel said...

What a great and needed post! Words can either heal or hurt and unfortunately it takes more 'thought before speaking' to say something kind and uplifting, than it does when words of anger or frustration are allowed to spew out. I grew up with so many hurtful words and then heard even worst in my adult years. Words that went around and round in my head, esp. at night when I tried to sleep. It took years and a lot of healing to drown out those words and heal the damage they caused.

You have helped even more people with this very powerful and loving post!! Thank you, Betsy!!!

Much Love and Many Hugs,
Coreen xoxoxo

Shug said...

Perhaps I'm too new to blogging to have witnessed any rude remarks...AND..I certainly hope that the words that I share from my heart have never offended anyone...I also believe that different parts of our country express themselves in different ways that others may not understand...Take my son-in-law for example...He is not originaly from Texas and for quiet some time, we had a difficult time with how he expressed himself...HOWEVER, he has the sweetest heart and it just took us understanding his way with words.
He is a wonderful Christian man...

I agree with you though...Words can be very damaging and we all need to exercise caution...
Have a great week off Betsy..can't wait to see all the photos of things you're going be looking at this next week...Enjoy!
Hugs,
Shug

Connie said...

Good post, Betsy. Well said. I think words can often be misinterpreted and yes, they can hurt others-- sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally. I hope you enjoy your break. :)

Cheryl @ TFD said...

Hi Betsy, this is a great post. I can't fathom why anyone would intentionally hurt, they just must be very careless or downright mean in their writing. I haven't yet encountered any of those kinds of people online, thankfully. Now in Real Life...unfortunately, I do! And try to stay away from them as best as I can! Sure hope my words online are never seen as being hurtful, as I would never mean for them to be. Hope you and George have a great time on your blog break! See you when you get back.
Hugs, Cheryl

Anonymous said...

Hi Betsy, I agree with the concept of being polite, encouraging, interesting, non-controversial, and general. i think it is necessary for the very reasons you have outlined here. I think being positive is best unless you are writing a political or news opinion blog or some such. Have a good blogcation and we will see you here in a week!

Rose said...

I don't think I have ever been intentionally hurt on a blog...I did have someone tell me how to get rid of the evening glow in a photo...and that was the part that I loved about it.;) But they were not mean...

I am with Neal that most of what I have seen is political...but I don't have a thick skin so don't participate...

I hope if I had comments attacking another blogger that I would have the sense to delete them...I just don't think comments like that do anyone any good.

And I really hope I have never hurt anyone...I don't comment on a lot of blogs compared to some, but the ones I do comment on...I really feel like I would genuinely like the bloggers if I were to meet them.

Becca's Dirt said...

I totally agree with you Betsy. I have seen the same thing before. Words can be hurtful. I have been hurt as well. I think before I write and if I can't say anything nice I don't say anything at all. I think others should refrain if they are feeling less than nice.

Hope you and George have a lovely week. See you when you get back. I consider you and George my friend. I hope to come see you guys maybe this year. I am planning on trying to meet a few bloggers this year.

Karin said...

It seems to me that religion and politics generate the most outspoken comments. While I do love a good discussion, even though I may differ with someone, it should never be a personal attack. We all read comments with our own personal insight and slant. I'm one of those who needs to be careful not to read something into someone's comment that they didn't intend. When I comment I hope and pray that it is received as kind, gentle and encouraging as I meant it to be. When I attempt to make a funny comment I usually add the LOL - laughing out loud, or the word 'smile', or explain it with 'just kidding' so that the recipient knows I'm just trying to cute, witty, silly or funny! Maybe I don't achieve it, but I tried, lol!

You've chosen another very interesting topic Betsy! It's always good to get us thinking and to check how we come across to others.

I'll miss you but wish you a great break! Our d-i-l is at home, thankfully did not ultimately need the surgery, but is still not feeling up to par. Thanks for your prayers! Blessings to you both!

Kim@stuffcould.... said...

If I hurt someone with my blog or comments I make, it is unintentional! I do not make sense all the time :) Have a great week off!
kim

Barbara said...

Betsy this is an excellent post dear, and I say if you do not agree with some one, don't go to
their blog, (like mama used to say), if you cannot say something nice to a person then don't say anything, just click and go some where else with whom you agree, ugly comments are uncalled for, and very unneeded. No one wants to hurt another person, but some times our blog says things in a way that is taken differently than meant, lets always be kind, and think of the bloggers feelings as well as your own testimony in the community of blogging, love you Betsy and so agree with you too.

Anonymous said...

Good Morning Betsy....Good Advice.

I've been on both the delivering and receiving end of critical comments. Sometimes it's better to wait a day or two before we click the send or publish button.

GreatGranny said...

This is truly a thought provoking post and should be heeded and yes, it's scriptural in origin.
I see these folks with ugly comments as bullies.
I wish you a good safe vacation.

happyone said...

A very good post to make us stop and think about our words.
I have had a couple of mean comments left on my blog which just seemed to come out of no where. I really didn't let it bother me and just deleted them.
I don't think I've ever left a comment that would hurt someones feelings - I sure hope I haven't anyway.
Enjoy your break. : )

Pedaling said...

great advice. yep, words sure can hurt. I've had some pretty nasty stuff said on my site--usually anonymously, sometimes not--when I post political. one thing is for sure, if your going to post anything controversial, you gotta have a thick skin.
I hope you have a fun week ahead!

Linda at To Behold The Beauty said...

I am very aware that a word spoken carelessly can hurt another person and that I have often been guilty of that. That awareness also makes me more understanding when a careless word from someone else hurts me. I try to put the best possible spin on it and not allow myself to dwell on it or become bitter over it. It's especially tricky when the communication is done in writing because words can be so easily misunderstood without the benefit of hearing the tone of voice or seeing the expression of the speaker.

This is a thought-provoking post and a good reminder to all of us.

amy @ Life in Pink Hi-Tops said...

I've been thinking about the same exact thing!! maybe we read the same blog. I was so shocked by some of the comments. Sometimes words hurt more than a paper cut with lemon juice on it.....

Lady Di Tn said...

Betsy
First of all, Have a wonderful week from the blogging world.
Secondly, I try to remember what my dear Mother uses to say "If you cannot say something nice, don't say anything at all."
Thirdly, this is a post that every blogger should read and adhere too.
Last but not least, I hear my sister saying as I type "Some folks might not get your sense of humor." Therefore, I try not to stay away from humor but sometimes it wins out and I pray that the persons reading will get it.
Now a little history, when I was a novice blogger, I found this one persons blog's humor to be very funny and they had another blog listed that they did. Since I enjoyed the first blog so well, I went to the second blog. BIG MISTAKE AND EVEN BIGGER MISTAKE I told them a caution to readers should be made for the second blog. The very next day on the persons first blog, I was the post and it was NOT nice. So my lesson if you do not like the blog site just leave and never make a comment on that site.
Peace

Busy Bee Suz said...

Well, you know how silly and saarcastic I am. I DO try to use the correct words to get my point across without injuring anyones feelings...most people know what I mean, and it is never harsh. Politics and religion; I stay away from that....not even going to go there. :)
xoxox

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

So true, Betsy, that words can be very hateful or hurtful. I don't accept annonymous comments for the very reason I don't want to open my blog to that type of behavior. I have been fortunate that my readers are always pleasant in their comments. If I ever had an "off" comment I can attribute it to the fact the person wasn't really thinking about what they were saying and didn't mean it to be hurtful.

Have a wonderful blog break and relax and enjoy!

LV said...

Amen to everything you said today. I try not to say things hurtful. I definitely am very careful what I say on religion or politics. So far, my comments have been fine. When I first started I got an ugly one from an anonymous person. I just accepted it with a grain of salt and responded in a nice way on a post. I better cross my fingers, since then it has been fine. You two have a great time, be careful and I know you will come back with a camera full of beautiful sights.

Glenda said...

Words are so powerful . . . and so we have the power to build up someone or tear them down. I want to be a "builder-up'er"!!

Hidden Haven Homestead said...

I have had several posts in the past where people have taken it wrong or flat out told me what I was doing was wrong without even knowing me personally. The ones that do this are usually the ones that won't use your name. I went to moderating my comments to keep the those people from ruining it for other commenters. It hurts of course but I say a prayer for them and tell myself I have better things to do than worry about their hurtful words. I have even hurt someone without knowing and that hurt me. I hadn't got her blog moved over to my new blogs listings nor had I followed her with my new one and she thought I didn't want to be blog friends any longer. I felt so bad that I had hurt her and told her so things are back to a wonderful friendship. I really have to watch my words and actions as I am a blunt person and speak my mind too much. Have a wonderful blog break and see you when you get back.

Ann said...

There have been a couple times where I have left a comment on a blog and although I meant one thing, I wondered later if it would be taken another way. I try to be very careful about what I say. I've seen comments left on blogs that when i read them I felt very bad for the author of the post.

Wendy said...

I think it's happened to most of us. Saying something on the spur of the moment and then regretting it later, even if it's something mild. People read different things into comments. And it depends if you are having a good or a bad day.

Have a fun week!

KathyA said...

I think we've all been wounded by words at one time or another. And you're absolutely right about those words hurting terribly and leaving their mark.

Every once in a while someone will leave a comment that takes me aback. I try to remind myself that I'm not experiencing their tone and could be mis-interpreting. Still I'm careful as to what I say in comments and how I say it. There's too much cruelty in this world for me to add to it. As my sweet dad used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your damn mouth shut." :) And so I do, frequently!!

Unknown said...

As a teacher, I know how important words are, the strength with which they can raise a young person up or weigh them down. As a mother, I see this even more as the words my young girls hear mold what they think and how they act. As a person, I know how words can last in your mind, the good and the bad, and that they are ALWAYS there, maybe forgetten for a moment or two, but remembered just the same. My grandmother's words of encouragement, a not so nice girl's comments, words that broke a heart. Words are a gift, and we should think so carefully about giving them to others. Those who don't think or care, should still remain quiet out of respect for those who do!

Fred Alton said...

Such an important topic for us to remember. I never deliberately attempt to hurt others - but there have been times I had to disagree. Hopefully I will always do that in an agree-able manner. I seek always to watch my choice of words on my blog and on any comments to others blogs. Face to face we have an advantage because we can see expressions and body language that helps our understanding. Even the phone limits us in that regard, for we miss those visual clues to meaning. Then we come to blog-land and we really have to think about how we write (and re-write) so as to communicate our exact meaning. What an important topic! There is a verse of Scripture that comes to my mind, found in James 3:2 which says, "For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body." Thanks for calling this to our attention.

Carletta said...

What a wonderfully insightful post Betsy!
In three years of blogging I've only been hurt once with a comment about one of my photos. This person had been leaving snide little jabs for a week or so and then just told me I didn't know what I was talking about. I agree, it hurts cause you ask why me. I just stopped returning their comments.
I try to be upbeat whenever I leave a comment and I know it's a cliche, but if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all. I don't understand anyone's need to make someone else hurt in any way.
Thank you for reminding us our words count.
Betsy, you and George have a wonderful blog break!

diane b said...

A thought provoking post and a good reminder to be careful with our words. I have had one years ago on a different blog site. A male who had a go at me on how I treated Bill because I did a post on one of our walks and I jokingly said something about Bill having to wait for me to take photos. Some people can get upset over the silliest things.

Michele said...

The nice thing about my photo blogs, it does all the talking for me. I doubt that scenes of mountains, streams, wildlife and trees will offend many. Good luck, my friend. (hug)

T said...

Well, you already know I firmly believe this - after the year we had last year.

Beautiful post Betsy! ONe more people should read.

Marge said...

Hi Betsy! You're my hero!!! The pen (or in this instance, keyboard) IS mightier than the sword! Being negative is just a waste of emotional time. It brings you no joy and alters the world around you. Why not follow your example and spread JOY instead??? Have a safe week and enjoy your time off. Somebody forgot to tell the hollow that Spring arrived...burrrr

Marge said...

Hi Betsy! You're my hero!!! The pen (or in this instance, keyboard) IS mightier than the sword! Being negative is just a waste of emotional time. It brings you no joy and alters the world around you. Why not follow your example and spread JOY instead??? Have a safe week and enjoy your time off. Somebody forgot to tell the hollow that Spring arrived...burrrr

Deb from WhatsInMyAttic said...

The only conclusion I can come to when I think about folks who are mean spirited and hateful on the internet is that...well, they are mean spirited and hateful! I blog for fun and must assume that others do the same. If their comments and posts become ugly and hurtful, one must assume that they find this contrary, hurtful activity enjoyable. Sad, but I'm afraid, true.

The best part of your post is that it's a reminder to the rest of us that the bulk of our internet contact through blogging has been positive and encouraging...even loving and empathetic (amazing consider we never really see each other!). It never hurts to be reminded to "just be nice" as my sweet Momma used to say.

Pat - Arkansas said...

Wise and true words that need to be taken to heart by all of us, Betsy. Words, positive or negative, are like feathers tossed into the wind; they can never be recalled -- and we have no control over how far they will travel.

Christmas-etc... said...

I couldn't agree with you more! If words don't edify another than why say them? Especially in comments. This is for fun and to make people feel better - to give a bit of joy in this world that is filled with so much loveliness but also pain - by posting and commenting; by sharing! Well done with this one, Betsy!
Blessings for a lovely Sunday!
ann

Lynda said...

You are right about words and their power. One problem we run into in our own home is I can give one of my daughters a compliment and this particular girl will take it the wrong way. For instance, if I say, "Your outfit looks cute." The response I might get is, "Are you saying I don't look good the other days?" arrrggghhh!!!!
We will miss reading you this week but we all need an occasional break from our blog.

Cassie said...

Hi Sweetie. It's been too long since we've crossed paths! You are so right. Even people who we are really close with can misinterpret the written word. I tend to think I'm a comic, so say things in jest to those close to me that have been taken the wrong way. When I am made aware of it, I apologize and (usually) feel horrible that the words were taken badly.My DIL told me years ago that she does NOT appreciate my sense of humor,so I walk on eggs if around her. I have had but one of my comments on a blog taken the wrong way and when I emailed the gal and explained what I meant she was very nice about it.I've seen a few rude comments on blogs,but unless it is blatent,figure the wrong words were chosen and no harm meant. Have missed reading your blog. Hope your time off is great!

Cheryl said...

Hi Betsy, love the header photo, so cheery and bright! We have had several more inches of snow here and several days of below "normal" temps. However, I know spring is here and will show her "pretty face" soon! I must say your post was very insightful, and I have been very lucky in never receiving negative comments. I too always check my comments in case I say or imply something that might be misconstrued. As a child I was taught "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"! I wish you a nice break from blogging! I have been "on break" most of the winter and am trying hard to get back into blogging.

nanny said...

Well said Betsy....
I haven't read any bad comments, but I have read that it happens. I'm with you, I just click off if I don't agree with topic. I would never intentionally hurt anyone with my words. I try to always be positive in my comments. One thing I've learned...you can't take hurtful words back so I stay away from them.
Have a great week off....see you soon.

Tracy said...

Betsy,
This is a phenomenal question and very interesting perspective.
The only words that made me cringe were actually on your blog, when that gentleman left that obnoxious message onyour site. I was appalled and heart broken for you!
Anyway, I am very careful about the individuals I follow and it is my hope that no one would hurt me with their words; naieve perhaps, but nonetheless, I've learned to trust my gut.

Great great blog today!
Have a great week!

Dar said...

Very well expressed, Betsy. Thank you for reminding us that words do hurt if interpreted wrong. You always have positive comments and never offend. Thank you for that. You are a true friend-blogger, but in our case, you are more like a sister.
BlessYourKindHeart

Twilight Man said...

I have personally been embroiled in one blog wars a few years ago. It happened inside a newspaper's forum which is from Thailand where many expatriates gave their comments and there was a lunatic Thai lady who often told them off. Somehow, I tried to make peace and sided the Westerners but got into verbal wars with her instead. It was a silly episode and I should have stayed out from the start as none of the expatriates gave me any praise for coming into their defense. It was a good lesson for me to move away from whatever deemed as nonsense or awful.

You have been a lovely blogger with beautiful photos to make anyone happy!

A Brit in Tennessee said...

Such an interesting post Betsy.
You are correct, oftentimes a comment may be taken the wrong way,
maybe it wasn't written with the intentions of being rude, or hurtful, but came across that way.
I've had a couple of hurtful comments, but then saw the very same comment on other firends blogs, so I think maybe they were spam.
Enjoy your little bloggy break, look forward to your next post !
~Hugs,
Jo

mudderbear said...

Hi Betsy...Love the Pink!
I have been giving the subject here a lot of thought.
You are so right...there could easily be misunderstandings. I certainly hope no one has ever been hurt or offended by me. All my friends out there are so gentle and kind. I look for you/them everyday. This has also made me aware of words in other places, and I am trying to think before I speak. It's been good to think about this.

Unknown said...

So love visiting your writes ... you capture the beauty in life & surroundings perfectly bringing such joy to we who are visiting.

There is a situation going on right now in bloggyville that was very hurtful ... I can not believe the mentality of others who are vicious/cruel/thoughtlessness in their verbiage. Shame on them.

Have a beautiful respite. See you soon ...
Have a beautiful day, my friend ~
TTFN ~
Marydon

Small City Scenes said...

Remember the words we heard as children--at least at my house.
If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

Good for you for bringing this up Betsy---We all must examine what we do and/or say at times. MB

Brenda Kay Ledford said...

Betsy,
I hope you have a great week off from blogging and the weather will be pretty.
Yes, there is power in words. They can heal or hurt. I hope everything I say will encourage others.

Pranavam Ravikumar said...

I think I am little late. I agree completely Betsy. Yes.. We should think twice before we speak or write. Thanks for the lovely post. Have a nice day!

Mary Isabella and Kiley too! said...

Love the beautiful new header. have a great weekend...m.

Anonymous said...

Thought provoking!

Janie said...

I really like the flowers in your header - so lovely!
Very true that words can hurt. And I do believe comments or emails can be misinterpreted as harsher than they were intended, simply because we can't tell is someone meant a statement lightly or seriously.
I've been hurt by a few blogger comments that I felt were overly critical and unjustified. With that in mind, I try very hard not to phrase something in a way that could be interpreted as critical.